Inconceivable
by KiwiFairy1994
Summary: Edward and Bella have been best friends for ten years after meeting in the playground as kindergarteners and then when puberty hit something changed and their friendship became more. Then the inconceivable happens followed by a fight and a tragedy. Rather than face the truth Bella runs only to return a few months later. AH
1. Chapter 1

"Bella, you can't do this!" Edward screeched furiously, they had been going at it for ages with no sign of resolution.

"Edward we're too young; this would change everything! Everything you've worked so damn hard for! I cannot, no I will not be the reason you don't go to medical school. This is the only option!" I said calmly, as I felt the wetness of my tears soaking my cheeks.

"Who says this will change anything?" Edward asked reasonably staring into the eyes of his one and only love.

"Edward, it changes everything! Babies change things! It's my body and I will do as I see fit, I don't want to do it, but we are sixteen!" I said trying to be reasonable, the tears pouring down my face. Edward started at me, though he didn't say anything, then he just turned and left.

I had not spoken to Edward in three days, the longest we have ever gone without speaking or seeing each other since we meet and became best friends ten years ago.

Today was the day I was going to the clinic to sort out the little problem that lay in my belly. I didn't want to do this, but what choice did I have? My resolve to the situation lay in the fact Edward and I are only sixteen and juniors in high school! There was no way we could have a baby…. Right? As I walked towards the clinic from my car I began to doubt everything. I loved Edward more than anything and this thing inside of me was made in love and celebration of our one-year anniversary of being official, could I really kill something that is part Edward?

I walked into the clinic, the stark white walls of planned parenthood, the smell of bleach and the fluorescent lights made every part of me shake with fear. I signed in and turned to take a seat, looking around I saw women of varying ages and sizes, some looking about ready to pop and others who looked exactly the way I felt. Nervous. I tried not to stare at the heavily rounded young women siting with I assume her partner, but something drew me in. They were talking animatedly about something, smiles plastered on their faces and his hand sprawled across her abdomen. I realised then that I wanted to be her, only it was Edwards hand on my swelling belly that I wanted. I realised then that I could not kill the baby that rested snug inside me, because if I did I would be killing not only a part of me, but I would kill a part of Edward too.

I stood up, vindicated in my resolve that I could not do this, just as they called my name.

"Miss Swan? Would you like to come through now?" the nurse questioned, smiling at me. I didn't say anything as I walked passed her and out the front door of the clinic. I needed to see Edward. I needed to tell him I loved him, but most of all I needed to tell him how much I wanted this thing growing inside me.

I drove like a woman on a mission, not fast enough to break any speed limits knowing that my father the chief of police would rip me a new one if I did, but also something had kick started the mother bear in me and I knew I needed to protect my little bean.

I arrived at Edwards house after a while, his black Volvo was in the drive way and I could hear the piano as I parked. It wasn't until I got out of the car did I hear the anger and sadness in the piece of beautiful music being played. I walked up the front steps and in the house, that, for the last ten years has been my second home.

"Edward?" I called, not wanting to startle him. As I walked into the room that housed the grand piano and saw my love, the tears ran down my face. His beautiful green eyes had lost their spark and were hollow, the skin dark and sunken in, his beautiful bronze hair was sticking in all sorts of directions. But the worst part was the empty bottle of bourbon adorning the beautiful black grand piano. Something in the pit of my stomach told me I should leave, but I couldn't. Not when he was like this.

I walked towards him, the music stopped and he looked up. The pain that shone through his eyes broke my heart. I had done this to him. My selfishness had done this to him.

"Edward?" I asked quietly, he looked directly at me and growled.

"Come to gloat, have you?" he spat angrily.

"No- I.." I stammered trying to start, to tell him that I wanted this, that I wanted our bean, that I wanted the little Edward Junior growing inside of me.

"It's done I presume?" he chuckled unemotionally, "Of course it is, why else would you be here other than to gloat that you killed our baby?" he stated. I took another step closer to him but he growled in response.

"Don't you dare touch me! You filthy bitch!" He screeched, I stepped back away from him, my heart cursing my choice to not talk with him properly three days ago.

"Edward listen… please!" I demanded, he stopped what he was doing and stalked towards me, his finger pointed accusingly. Scared of this side of the man I loved, I wrapped my arms protectively around my waist.

"What lies are you going to spew now Bella?" he sang in anger. His eyes darting down to look at my hands and where they rested. "Are you here to tell me that everything will be alright? That... That we are only sixteen that this isn't part of the plan? Well you know what?" His voice flickered between longing and anger and sadness, "I hate you Isabella Marie Swan! Get out of my house and get out of my life, just like our dead baby, you are dead to me!" He screeched as he reached for an empty bottle of bourbon to throw. He threw the bottle and it flew past my head before shattering on the floor.

"I love you Edward, I couldn't do it" I yell as I turn and run for the door, as much as my love for Edward demanded me stay and fix things, my protective instincts screamed at me to run. I left the house and got in my car without looking back, I sped to meadow that was Edward my safe haven, the tears falling furiously down my cheeks. I turned off the car and walked the rest of the way to the meadow. Once I reached the open field I collapsed in a pile of mess. What had I done? The tears continued to fall and the sky changed from blue to black as night came. I didn't move, not even after the ran started. I lay in a foetal position, protecting the only thing I could. Our baby. Slowly I felt my eyes close and I fell asleep in the cold.

I woke in agony, sweat poured down my face. At first, I was disorientated, before the events of the previous day crashed down upon me and before another round of pain hit. The pain felt like I was being torn apart from the inside, I couldn't move but I could scream. I felt something trickle down between my legs as another stabbing pain tore me in half, I screamed in agony as reality set in. I put my hands on my belly and cried. The contractions continued as my body worked to remove my little bean. I couldn't move as the pain ripped my entire body in half. Eventually, I passed out. I was a failure. I was a failure as a girlfriend. I was a failure as women. But most of all I was a failure as a mother.

 _End of Chapter_ _one…_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I lay in the meadow, curled in my ball, wet from the rain and weak from blood loss, going in and out of consciousness. I heard my phone ring a number of times, but I didn't answer it, then it died. I stayed this way for what seems years, but was probably mere days or even just hours…

The blackness was better then reality.

"SAM!" I heard a man yell, before the movement of air next to me and someone crouched next to me. "Bells?" the voice whispered caringly. I blinked a couple of times as the voice hid in a shadow in front of the sun before he came into perspective.

"Jake?" I croaked, my throat thick from the screaming and crying, Jacob Black my brothers best friend crouched next to me.

"Oh Bells, what happened? The chief has been worried sick about you." Jacob said with worry and concern thick in his voice.

"I need to see Edward!" I said stuttering, the cold stabbing me as faded in and out of consciousness in Jacobs arms. They were warm.

"Bella!…" Jacob started before he was interrupted.

"Jacob? Have you found her? Is she okay" Sam Uley, my dad's deputy from the station panted before coming into view. "Oh Bella!" he exclaimed when he lay eyes on me, before muttering something into a walkie-talkie and sauntering closer to me. "Medics are on their way." he said before crouching to my level.

I looked at Jacob, "Bella, it's been three days, three days since anyone saw you…" Jacob said, answering an unasked question, I soon fell into darkness.

 _Beep Beep beep_

"…It appears until recently Isabella was pregnant, I'd say about nine or ten weeks. However, unfortunately she has miscarried, the amount of blood they found her in and from looking at her blood results, she likely miscarried from the stress her body was under. She will need to have an examination to ensure that she expels everything. She may need counselling. I am going to go ahead and remove her from gynaecology, but I will come back and perform the exam later in the day." A female voice said quietly to someone else.

"Thank you, Dr Denali." Dr Carlisle Cullen replied, the door opened then closed. I fell asleep soon after, not wanting or ready to face reality.

I came around again slowly, I opened my eyes and saw my favourite shade of copper before falling under again. When I came to it next, Carlisle was looking at me, concern etched on his face.

"Carlisle?" I whisper as his colleague leaves; his eyes flick up from the tablet where he is probably reading my information and he looks at me. For the first time in the years I've known him, it looked like he didn't know what to say.

"How are you Bella?" He asked as he strode towards me, putting the tablet under his arm and rubbing alcohol gel into his hands.

"I've seen better days…" I croaked, my throat still raw from the happenings of the last few days.

"Yes, well getting hypothermia wasn't the smartest of plans, now was it?" he asked with amusement, I knew he was trying to avoid the elephant in the room.

"I guess" I muttered, I didn't want to do this, I didn't want to tell Edwards father that four days ago I was about to kill his grandchild and in doing so I had destroyed his son, but then that I had changed my mind but his son didn't want to hear it. No, I did not want to be speaking to Carlisle Cullen at all in that moment.

"Bella, I am sorry to say that you've had a miscarriage, Dr Denali would like to come back and do an exam on you later, just to make sure you are okay. I'm sorry sweetie." He said with sympathy etched on his face. "Bella, what happened?" he asked quietly after a while, "Is this why Edward has locked himself in his room, why Esme and I can hear crying and things breaking? Did something happen between you two?" Carlisle asked confused, I chuckled unemotionally, before telling him everything that had transpired up until I was found in the meadow hours ago.

"I must talk some sense into that boy." Carlisle muttered after a few moments of silence. "I'm Sorry Bella about what happened and I'm sorry about Edward" he said kindly. I shrugged my shoulders and we sat in silence for a while. As Carlisle got up to leave, I yanked on his lab coat and looked into his eyes, "Carlisle please don't, please don't tell Edward; I'd rather he looked at me as a disappointment then as a failure" I said sadly. Carlisle nodded emotionally, before leaving my room.

As the tears fell, my heart broke further.

^.^

I was discharged a few days later, after an awful pelvic exam and procedure by Dr Denali, and then I went back to school, I was dead insid. School sucked, Edward ignored me as did his twin sister and my best friend Alice. Every-time I tried to talk to him, he scowled and walked away; Alice was no better, muttering awful words, such as bitch, liar, whore. I was all alone, even Eric and Mike didn't come near me.

Two weeks after the incident in the meadow, I had had enough. Edward acted as if I didn't exist, he ignored my very presence. Though when I did catch him looking at me one day he was scowling; he looked a mess, crumpled clothing, unshaven and broken. He sat with Jasper, his best friend and Alice's boyfriend. I tried to talk to them one last time, with some new found courage, I wanted to sort this, I needed to sort this. I needed my best friends, I was broken, they needed to know.

I walked over to their table and the entire cafeteria went quiet, luckily it was only Junior lunchtime. "Edward? Can we please talk… you need to know something." I started saying before being cut off.

"No! No Bella, I need to know shit, it's not like you care what I think anyway!" Edward roared, he pulled on his hair "you're just a bitch who doesn't care about anyone else's feelings or wants except your own. So, NO I won't talk to you, not now, not ever!" he said as he pushed his chair away from the table, stood up and bashed past me as he made his way towards the exit.

"I couldn't do it! I didn't do it! I'm sorry!" I scream as he reaches the door, he stops mid stride before shaking it off and continuing out the door. I run after him, but he is gone. I don't dare go back into the cafeteria and had no desire to be at school. Instead I walk to the nurse's office and got a slip to leave school early. I walked out the door, my mind swirling with pain, sadness, grief and loss.

Once I am home, I decide that I can't stay here, that I need a break… or just something away from dreary gray Forks. I get out my phone and message my mom Renee.

 _Bella: Hey mom, is it alright if I come and visit for a few days? :)_

The reply isn't instant, though I knew it wouldn't be, so I sit on my bed and look at the photo hanging on the adjacent wall of Edward and me. Why did this have to happen?

 _Renee: Heya baby girl, sure! I'd love to see my favourite eldest daughter! Xx_

 _I was just about to reply, when she sent through another message._

 _Renee: Do you want me to book you some flights? Xox_

 _Bella: Nice Save ;) I'm sure Vicki would kill you if she saw that :P xx_

 _Bella: thanks mom! Yes please, as soon as possible? Love you!_

I chuckle at my mom's comment about being her favourite eldest daughter, my six-year-old half-sister would not be impressed by that statement otherwise.

I click my phone close and email my teachers, requesting time off and for a list of homework requirements for the next week, about half an hour later, I have tickets to Jacksonville, Florida leaving at 8pm.

Two hours later; I have made dad his dinner and left a note explaining that I needed a break to feel better and that I was going to visit mom. I was sure that he wouldn't mind, given I had been keeping him awake with my nightmares and screaming. I pack a bag, grab my phone, Wallet and Computer and head out.

As I pull into the small Forks airport to take flight to Seattle, before boarding a longer flight to Florida the past month hits me like a tonne of bricks. In one moment Edward and I were planning our future the next it is ripped away by nature and ineffective contraception.

 _End of Chapter 2_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

I left forks three days ago, the recent events plaguing my mind. However, since I arrived in Florida, I have been able to somewhat relax, I haven't had any nightmares and I have also been able to spend time with mum, Vicki and my step-father Phil; it has been really nice and luckily no one has asked any questions. But now? I don't know if I can go back… I don't want to go back. Not right now at least. I feel like my heart is slowly repairing, though I know it will never be fully whole again.

Taking off my Ray Bans and stretching on the sun lounger, I look out across the pool and up at the sunny blue sky and sigh. I cannot face the reality of Forks right now. I cannot face him right now.

Decision made. I take out my new phone and call Forks High School, in the hope I can do work by distance, even if for a little while. Luckily Ms Cope says it's doable, I just have to do an extra project for credit and be back for Finals in May.

 **EPOV**

It's been days since I saw Bella; I know I was awful. But, how could she be so cruel to kill our child? Our child made in a night of passion and love. If she loved me, she wouldn't have done it or at least she would have let me have a say. I shouldn't have got angry at her, I just felt so helpless.

School has been awful the last few weeks, ever since Bella went missing. I remember the call Dad got the night they found her, he was needed urgently at the hospital. Apparently she was hypothermic, had major blood loss, she was found in our meadow in a pool of blood, in and out of consciousness. I had gone to the hospital with dad, I don't know why I went, I was just so angry. She needed a blood transfusion, warming blankets, fluids. Seeing her on the hospital bed broken, I broke in two, I had done this, my words had done this to her. I left before she woke up and knew I was there. When I left, I heard my father say she had been pregnant to one of his colleagues. I didn't hear much else, I left the hospital broken, I drove to our meadow, and found the spot she must have been found in, the amount of blood was awful, I threw up, before escaping reality with my new best friend, bourbon.

Every day I look for her, I still love her of course, but she isn't here, she's not even in Forks, the chief said so himself when he came round two days ago, banging on the front door looking for me. He shouted that she was gone and asked what I had done to drive his Bella away. I told him to piss off and to ask his Bell, what she did to drive herself away; I wanted him to hit me, but he didn't, the disappointment in his eyes was worse. I shut myself in room after that, not before seeing the look of sadness, regret and worry in my dad's eyes. I lost myself in bourbon and vodka for a few weeks.

After a month, I wrote Bella a letter every day. I never sent them. I couldn't. I'm sure they wouldn't win any literary awards that's for sure. But I slowly got my head out of the bottle, cleaned myself up and went back to school. Good thing my GPA didn't suffer.

 **BPOV**

After nearly three and a half months in Florida, I have been slowly getting better.

Each day, I do my school work by the pool before sending it through to my teachers back in Forks. When Mrs Cope asked me why I wanted to do distance, I simply said have you heard the gossip? She asked no further questions and set it up. I then either go for a swim, go running or to the gym.

I have spent almost every day of the last three months, by the pool and slowly my alabaster skin has gained some colour. My body has toned out a bit, curvy in all the right places.

Apart from school I have taken up running, as well as practicing contemporary dance and kick boxing, things that I'm actually quite good at; despite my lack of coordination. It started off as a type of therapy, but after the first month I was looking incredible and feeling so much better that it became my routine.

The best part of being in Florida has been the time with my sister and my mum. Renée, my mum may be scatter brained, but she knows how to cheer a girl up. Last night for example, once Vicki was asleep and everyone else was out, mum made me a hot cocoa and I spilled everything to her.

I told her about the pregnancy and what my plans had been, then how I couldn't do it, that I wanted the baby, and then Edward not listening, to the heartbreak that lead to my body having a natural abortion. She comforted me, before she told me about her own experience.

Last night my mum and I found a new understanding for the other, or at least I for her, I feel like we are closer now. Like we have a new kind of connection. The best thing, was she didn't push me to open up to her, she let me come to her on my own time.

Tomorrow, however, things are going to change. It's been three almost four months since I left Forks and tomorrow I fly back for finals, so here I am; Despite hating all things mall related, here I am, at the mall. I walk in to the hair dressers and register my name. I booked a few days ago.

"Bella?" The hairstylist calls, I nod and she signals me to follow. "So what are we going to do today?" She asks as she prepares me before playing with my long brown hair.

"I want something different. Something that screams new. Something that screams I don't give a fuck what you think. But also something that's a little bit sexy. Hmmm, maybe some colour? I don't know to be honest. I just know I need a change" I state, the hairstylists eyes light up with excitement, like a kid in a candy store, and she calls a couple of other stylists/ beauticins over. Next thing I know, my eyebrows are being prodded and plucked, my eyelashes permed and tinted, my hair coloured, cut (just a little), shaved and blow dried. Four hours later and I leave the salon a new me with a confidence I didn't know I had. I do a bit of shopping; buying new shoes, new lingerie and other clothing.

"Mom! I'm back!" I yell, once I've bought all my purchases through the door and deposited them on the bed in the guest room, which has become mine in the last three months. I go to look for her and find her by the pool with my bear of an older brother, Emmett.

"Emmett!" I scream before running and jumping into his arms, catching him by surprise; but he still manages to catch me.

"Bells?" He questions, before depositing me on the ground in front of him, where he proceeds to eye me up and down. His eyes go from surprised to worry to questioning.

I look down at what I am wearing, today, I am dressed in dark blue short shorts, a white cotton shirt with the sleeves rolled up to my elbows and the top buttons undone plus my traditional white with blue and red strip converse. My hair neatly done due to my appointment and sunglasses on my head. The tan I have acquired gives me a certain glow, if I do say myself. My nose stud, and new piercings on display. Good thing he can't see the tattoo I got.

"Hi brother Bear," I say smiling, "where else would I be?" I question rhetorically. He smiles at my answer. "What are you doing here?" I question, when no one says anything.

For a brief moment my brother looks sombre. Before quickly masking his expression into something unreadable.

"Well I had to come and see my little sister of course, given she has been on the east coast for the last three months and didn't tell me." He says with a sort of annoyance. I just stare at him before pulling my sunglasses off my head and over my eyes.

"I'm sorry Emmy, I just needed a break, I couldn't be in Forks, and there was no way I was going to disturb you in New York!" I say thoughtfully.

I turn around to the sound of clicking, and to my non-surprise I see my sister in-law Rosalie. She is gorgeous as always, even if she doesn't like me; I have a respect for her and her tolerance to put up with my oaf of a brother. She is also Jasper (His best friend) older sister. I'm sure they know some sort of story through Jasper and Alice.

"Rose" I say kindly. She looks at me with a sad smile on her beautifully prepped face.

"Well I am gonna go pack, nice to see you Em, Rose" I say smiling, I love my big brother; Emmett is four years older than me, and in his third year at college in New York; Rose and him eloped in the summer before going to college.

I flick my hair, turn around and head back towards the room that I've called mine for the last few months. I stick my earbuds in my ears, turn up my music and pull out my suitcase. As I pack up enough clothes to get me through my short stay in Forks. I leave out a pair of black ripped skinny jeans, converse, a white crop t-shirt, a black leather jacket and my cosmetics bag, before zipping the suitcase closed.

With my packing done, I dance around my room and decide to go for a run. I quickly change into my lululemon tights and black sports bra. I turn the music up louder, before I put my hair into a pony-tail and leave the house. Before I came to Florida, running was a chore, but now I can run for miles and not get tired or exhausted. I think about, for the first time in a while, what led to me being here.

 _Edward._

Did I forgive him? Yes. Did I love him? Of course. But did I trust him? No.

Chapter 3, edited and updated 3

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	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Saying goodbye to my sister Vicki, Phil and my mother hadn't been easy. After my run, I changed back into my shorts and shirt ensemble, my jeans and other things packed in my carry on, ready to be changed into once in Washington. I had just rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out at her. Emmett and Phil drove me to the airport and we said goodbye; my three almost four months in Florida had made me realise how good Phil was for my mother and what a great father he was to Vicki. Emmett and I talked a little bit and he gave me a giant hug, telling me to call him next time I needed to run away. He said Rose would understand how I felt. I shrugged him off, not sure by what he meant and made my way through the terminal.

I waited at the departure lounge for my flight to be called, while waiting I painted my nails black. My nails were just drying as the call was made.

" _United airlines welcomes passengers travelling on Flight 06430 to Seattle to board at gate 81, commencing with group A."_

Given I was group C, and my nails were yet to dry completely I was in no rush to head towards the gathering line. I played with my phone, I texted Charlie to let him know the plane was boarding and that I would message once in Seattle. After about fifteen minutes, I joined the line, scanning my ticket and showing my ID, I got on the plane and quickly got to my seat at 17A. Soon after I put my earbuds in, turned the music up and closed my eyes as the plane took to the runway and I left my sanctuary behind.

The plane landed without issue, slowly I joined the line of other passengers and disembarked the plane. I made my way slowly through Sea-Tac to the gates of the smaller planes, only stopping once to get a Cinnabon and a drink to snack on. I had enough time to switch outfits, I changed into my ripped skinny jeans, that made my butt look fantastic, a back crop top, I kept on my converse and slipped on my leather jacket, all new thanks to Phil. The flight to Port Angeles was due to leave in an hour, so I got comfy on a chair, the departure lounge reasonably empty, after all, it was only seven am. I went through my English lit notes, the plane boarded just before nine am and touched down in Port Angeles just after 9:30 am, I had four hours before my first exam.

Once off the plane, I went to collect my bags and wait for Charlie. Luckily I didn't have to wait long, though he didn't recognise me at first.

"Hi, dad," I said standing in front of him. It took him a moment to click and look at me.

"Bells!" he said excitedly, he looked at me up and down, "Well, ah, Florida seemed to do you some good?" he asked, taking my suitcase and leading me towards the cruiser.

"Sure, I mean, I might even consider some colleges down there," I said as we reached the cruiser, I got in the passenger side and flipped a text to Renee so that she was aware I had arrived. Charlie got in the cruiser, thankfully he isn't one for small talk. As we approached the house, I noticed my old beat up truck and a smaller bright red car next to it. "Do we have visitors?" I questioned as I looked at the beautiful cherry red car in awe.

"Oh, ah that?" Charlie stuttered, "No, that is yours. Arrived a few days ago actually. Not sure where from, the keys were in an envelope with your name on it, in the letter box when I got home the other day." Charlie muttered. I looked at the car in confusion, why would someone send a car, but not say who bought it. I shrugged my shoulders as I got out of the car and made my way inside. Once inside I set up to do some last minute studying before my exam.

I made Charlie and I lunch, though Charlie was at the station, before going to my room and getting ready for my exam. I tidied myself up, fixed my make-up, grabbed my bag and keys and headed outside. I debated between the old truck and the bright red car. I decided on the car, not wanting to make the entrance that came with the roar of the truck. I got in the driver's side of the car and took a look around, looking for some clue as to who bought the car. Eventually, after playing with the sun visor, a letter tumbled out.

 _Isabella,_

 _Edward told us everything. I knew after treating you at the hospital that my son was somehow involved, though, Esme and I were not aware you both had become more than friends. I am ashamed of my son's behaviour towards you in the days leading up to and the days and weeks after that lead to you leaving Forks. Charlie assured me you are doing well in Florida and that you will be back for Finals come May. I know a car won't change anything, but I know you probably won't want the entrance that comes with your truck._

 _I'm sorry for the way Edward treated you- rest assured he doesn't know what happened to you in the Meadow- Esme and I very much think of you as a daughter and hope that we will see you again soon._

 _Lots of love,_

 _Carlisle Cullen._

I read the letter multiple times, realising how much I had missed Carlisle and Esme in the time that I had been gone. He was right, in not knowing about Edward and me, things had only really changed two years ago, right around my fifteenth birthday actually, nine years to the day of our meeting…

 _Carlisle had taken up the job as Medical Director at Forks Hospital and had moved his family from the city life of Chicago for the job, Edward and his twin sister Alice, were six years old, and the three of us started school together that September. We became friends quickly, though I was always a little bit closer to Edward. He took care of me, especially after I was clumsy and had slipped over. Edward and Alice were there when my mother walked out on my father when I was eight years old and when she tried to take me with her. Carlisle and Esme took care of me after Charlie was shot and was in rehab for eight months when I was ten. They included Charlie and I in Thanksgiving and Christmas festivities, they gave me the big family I always wanted… Then last September, on my fifteenth birthday, Edward and I were out together and I told him I loved him, he kissed me and said he loved me too. We spent the first year together sneaking around, kissing and glancing at each other when we thought no one was watching. We hadn't wanted to change the dynamic of our friendship with Alice by telling her we were together, calling each other boyfriend/ girlfriend was so insignificant to how we both felt about each other. Then on Christmas eve everything changed again, we had sex._

… ** _Five and a half months ago…_**

 ** _*Lemon*_**

"I love you, Isabella Marie, Merry Christmas" Edward murmured into my ear, we were in his room, our parents downstairs drinking eggnog and watching Christmas movies. We had claimed we were tired and Alice was off with her boyfriend Jasper for a couple of hours.

So we had come upstairs to his room. Things started innocently enough, then his hands were playing with me and the next thing clothes were off, kisses were trailed down from ear across my boobs, he stopped only long enough to suck on each nipple so they were both erect, before continuing down across my stomach and then he sucked on my clit, looking up with his bright green eyes under his long lashes, I became a puddle in ecstasy. My hands in his hair as I rode my orgasm, once it was done, I pulled him up so that our lips were once again touching, I made him turn on his back and straddled him, mimicking what he had done only minutes early to me, I made my way down his body before getting to his large member, which I took in my mouth. His orgasm came quickly, our bodies covered in sweat were spent and we lay next to each other for only moments before he was covering my body kisses again.

"Please Edward…" I moaned I wanted him as I had never wanted him before. I guess he got what I meant, he rolled off me, long enough to fetch a condom and roll it on, I could tell I was still wet, which would make it slightly easier. Our eyes locked as he slowly slid inside me, stopping when I flinched, before continuing when I encouraged him too. Soon he was pumping in and out of me before we rode our orgasm together.

That night on Christmas Eve, Edward took my virginity and our relationship forever changed. No longer were we sneaking around for time alone to make out, but we were sneaking around for sex.

Eight weeks later, and I was late, my period had never been late. I drove to another town about twenty minutes away and purchased a test. That damned smiley face is what changed everything once again. It took me days to tell Edward, then make my decision.

 ** _Present_**

As I reflected on the last five months, and everything that had transpired, I wouldn't change it. Though I missed Edward and his family. I had finally discovered myself and as I drove towards the school for my exam, I was no longer clumsy, weak Isabella Swan. I was a woman who had changed.

I parked the car, checked myself in the mirror one final time, grabbed my bag and got out of my new car, with earbuds and sunglasses in place, I danced towards the exam building, resolve to not let the last five months define me any longer.

I walked into the building, took off my sunglasses and checked in with Mrs Cope, it took her a few minutes to accept I was who I said I was, then I went to wait to be called for my exam, English Lit.

I leaned against the wall, chewing gum, listening to music and watching the students of Forks High school. I got curious looks from Jessica Stanley, Mike Newton and Eric Yorke, all of whom must have been here for their PE exam.

Minutes later, He walked in. I continued to look straight ahead until I couldn't any longer. He looked tired, his copper hair a mess, his clothes dishevelled and I realised despite everything that has happened, I still loved him and probably always would. I closed my eyes as I thought about the future, I wanted to fix things. He is my soulmate after all.

Moments later with my eyes closed, Alice was standing in front of me, I knew only because I smelled her sweet perfume, "Bella?" she asked, I opened my eyes and looked at the little Pixie in front of me and pitched my head to the side, I pulled off my sunglasses and blew a bubble with my gum, not really acknowledging her presence.

Edwards beautiful musky smell joined his sisters and I looked up into the green eyes of the man I loved, before turning and running into the exam room. Leaving him wide-eyed and mouth open in my wake. Probably because I didn't fall over.

 **END of CHAPTER 4**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

I took my seat looking down at the desk in front of me, not wanting to make eye contact with any of the people likely looking at me. My phone buzzed and I quickly looked down at it, a Facebook messenger request from _Alice Cullen_ had come through. I took a deep breath before opening up the message, I knew this was coming, I guess.

 _Alice_ __ _ **We**_ _need to talk. After the exam meet me outside the gym._

Before I could reply, the examiners asked for phones to be turned off and put away, I looked up and found her, I nodded before looking back down at my papers.

The exam was easy enough, three hours and something like twenty pages of essay writing later I was done. Unfortunately, I had gone past the time when they allowed people to leave and so I had to wait the ten minutes until the end of the exam to leave.

While waiting, I looked up for the first time in three hours and found that only myself and four others remained; him and Jasper and Mike and Eric who were doing their PE final.

I looked at him, taking in everything about him, he was obviously stressed, his hair was a mess- he had obviously run his hand through it a few times in the last few hours. His clothes looked like he had slept in them, and though I couldn't see his face him sure that would show just the same; tired, dishevelled and anxious. As the time ticked down, I began tapping my foot anxiously.

"TIME!" the examiner yelled after what felt like hours. After collecting the rest of the papers, we were released. I left the exam room, but before even taking a step out the door my wrist was grabbed tightly, and I was pulled into a different room. Regaining my balance once I was let go, I looked around. He was here, so was Jasper and Alice was standing by the door.

I looked up at the love of my life, the man who had completely destroyed me only months ago and felt only a resounding sadness. He looked broken, he looked lost.

"Hi" I said quietly.

"Is that all you've got to say? Hmmm" Alice muttered angrily. I looked up at my best friend with sadness.

"Alice don't" he said quietly. I looked at him and caught his green eyes, I was caught, and I couldn't move, I couldn't look away even if I tried.

"What do you want me to say Alice? You ignored me in my time of need, I needed my best friends and you both turned your backs on me! Yes, I made a decision that hurt your brother, it hurt me more, and you know what? I couldn't do it, I couldn't destroy something I loved so completely and irrationally, I tried to talk to you both and you, you were hateful. I ran, do you know how hard it was for me? That day I lost my sister, my soul mate and my child. That day you called me those names? Hmmm remember that? Yeah, I left, I went to the one place I could be left alone, the one place that made me feel as close to him as possible and I cried. Eventually it started raining, day became night and night became day. I was found in a pool of blood. My baby was gone, you were gone, and he was gone. I had nothing left, I wanted to die. I realised I couldn't stay, and I left, I've been with Renee in Florida, I couldn't stay in the one place that caused my heart to break in a million pieces." I stopped for a second, wiping the tears away and gathered my composure. "is that what you wanted to hear? That I am so completely broken that I couldn't even protect my child? You know, when they brought me to the emergency room and I looked into your fathers' eyes as he told me, my child was gone, I couldn't do it anymore. So yes, I left. Sorry to burst your little bubble of perfection." I blinked and realised I was still looking at him, our eyes hadn't moved away from each other. The only difference now, he had tears streaking down his face and was pulling furiously at his hair.

"Bella-" Alice began, her voice croaking, but I stopped her. "Don't even." I muttered angrily.

The room went silent, my eyes stayed looking at Him.

After a while, I looked away and ran. I bolted through the door, down the corridor and out to the red car, jumping in, I raced down the streets. Once home, Charlies cruiser was still gone, I ran to my bedroom and stripped, changing into my lululemon black 7/8 tights, hot pink sport bra, I put my hair into a ponytail and tightened my running shoes, it was still light out, not exactly tropical, but warm enough that I didn't bother with a jacket. I scribbled a note to Charlie that I was out running, left a key under the pot plant; I put my sunglasses on, stuck my earbuds in and turned the music up as loud as possible, whilst putting my phone on do not disturb mode. I stretched a bit, before starting my run, I didn't know where I was going or how far, I just knew I needed to run and run hard I did.

After running through the town, I ended up in the forest, jumping over obstacles such as fallen over trees and flipping over shrubs, I only came to a stop when I ended up in a familiar looking clearing, the flowers in full bloom, and a hunched over man sitting in the middle. I pulled out my headphones and turned off my music, it was then I heard the sobbing. I walked closer and as I did, I saw hair the colour of coper, pulled and standing up at all ends all over his beautiful head. He looked up, mouth wide and I looked into his mesmerising sad eyes.

"Bella" he said softly before a fresh bout of tears rolled down his beautiful face.

"Edward" I sighed, I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around him.

 _End of Chapter 5_

 _Please Review, Favourite and Follow 3_

 _Please remember I am from New Zealand, so therefore any spelling changes may be because of that. Also, if you don't like the story/ issues with how dramatic it is then read something else!_

 _Have a great day_


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